


Time Stands Still

by Saziikins



Series: Family Ties [10]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gambling Addiction, M/M, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saziikins/pseuds/Saziikins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set straight after 'Running'. Do Sherlock and Greg finally meet in the middle?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Stands Still

**Author's Note:**

> This took four very, very different attempts to get this right. I think I'm content with this series now. I might have another play with the universe, but for now, Family Ties is done. Besides, I love multiples of 10 and 10 is a good chapter to end on.

In the past hour, the sun had begun to go down and now they were in partial darkness, lying down facing each other on the bed, hands clasped between them.

Greg had his eyes closed, though he wasn’t sleeping. Sherlock was watching him. The slow rise and fall of his chest, the soft curve of his nose, faint stubble on his jaw, soft lines at the corner of his eyes. He was so peaceful. And it soothed Sherlock to see him like this. It occurred to him how rare it was to see him this way.

They so rarely shared a bed. And then when they did, there was always something going on. Greg was either awake or fell asleep straight away having spent a day chasing criminals, Sherlock or the children. Now he seemed at ease. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Sherlock managed a soft smile. They hadn’t said a word in over an hour. They’d just lay in each other’s arms, occasionally swapping positions. The conversation would come, it was inevitable. But it felt easy for now. Sherlock had never felt so certain of anything. This was what he wanted. This home was where he needed to be from now on, with Greg and Lily and Matt.

“S’time?” Greg mumbled, wrinkling his nose. He opened his eyes, pupils adjusting, dark eyes gazing at Sherlock.

“Just gone 4pm,” Sherlock whispered.

“Jess’ll be bringing the twins home in an hour. I suppose we need to...” Greg frowned and reached out to Sherlock, brushing the back of his fingers against his cheek. “Hello, you,” he said, smiling as if he were looking at Sherlock for the first time.

Sherlock smiled back and took hold of his hand. “What are you thinking?” he asked, studying him.

“Hm. Not a lot. How we met. Do you know how long it’s been?”

“No.”

“Nine years and seven months,” Greg said with a wistful smile. “Can you believe that?”

“No,” Sherlock admitted. Time had gone so fast, yet so slowly all at once. It was hard to reconcile how nearly 10 years had passed, and yet he still felt the same thrill when Greg walked through the door. “No, I can’t.” He squeezed Greg’s hand, stroking their fingers together.

“Do you need to… rush after Moriarty or something?”

“Oh. No. I think Mycroft created the video. Either way, he doesn’t seem terribly concerned.”

“Oh.” Greg frowned. “Guess we should have seen that coming,” he muttered. “He wasn’t going to let you go, was he?”

“I don’t know why he wouldn't. You’re all… very strange.”

Greg smiled. “That’s love, for you. No rhyme or reason.”

Sherlock let out a small huff. “It’s all chemicals and hormones though,” he protested. “I suppose there’s an anthropological reason for it. People needing to bond together, to protect each other and save the human race from being wiped out. But still. You let your heart rule you.”

Greg kissed Sherlock’s knuckles. “I think that’s okay though. Look what it’s got me.”

“Ten years of misery.”

Greg tilted his head. “Is that really what you think it’s been?”

Sherlock nodded, glancing down at their joined hands. Here it was, the inevitable conversation. To admit the things he’d kept close to his chest for so long. He suspected Greg knew most of it, but that didn’t make it easier to say aloud. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot recently,” Sherlock said. “I came back here, to your home, 12 months ago. And the things that I remember most…” He trailed off. He didn’t even know where to begin with his memories of Christmases and Bonfire Nights and withdrawal nights all long passed.

“Tell me,” Greg pressed.

“I remember all the times you told me you’d wait for me no matter what,” Sherlock said, closing his eyes. “All the times you helped me detox. All the times I left you. I encouraged you to cheat at a casino.” Sherlock looked back at him. “You’ve effectively thought I was more or less dead twice. And somehow, I need you, like… I resent my drug habit. I hate how it controls me. And to me, you’re much the same as the drugs.”

Greg raised his eyebrows. “Alright. Not sure if I know quite how to take that, Sherlock.”

Sherlock stared down at Greg’s chin, unable to meet his eyes. “I make you unhappy.”

There was a long silence. It permeated through the room, heavy and oppressive. It was true, wasn’t it? Ultimately it was true and they were both aware of that fact. Sherlock hadn’t always been hugs and kisses and hot, steamy sex. He had so often been a dark and difficult terrain to try and conquer. And Greg had tried so many times to understand him, but Sherlock never really let him get close.

“Sometimes,” Greg whispered. “But sometimes I make you unhappy too.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, I do. For months, after you came back, I kept you at an arm’s length when all you needed…” Sherlock watched as Greg sighed, rolling onto his back and stretching out an arm for Sherlock to join him. Sherlock rested his head on Greg’s chest, glancing up at him. “I think you needed me this year,” Greg said, his voice full of regret. “I saw the scars on your back last Christmas and I just… I never asked. I never once asked if you were okay. I let you down.”

Sherlock closed his eyes. Many things had changed in the 12 months since he’d returned from dismantling Moriarty’s web. Had he been let down? He didn’t think so, but then he never particularly asked for anyone to provide the comfort he needed. He would have liked it, he supposed. If in those months since his return he could have curled up in Greg’s arms whenever he wanted. But Greg was swept up in his own pain too, caused by Sherlock leaving. How could Sherlock ever have asked him to take care of him, knowing that Greg was struggling too?

“How many mistakes do you think we’ve made?” Sherlock asked.

“Too many,” Greg said. “Most people would have given up by now. I mean. Tessa did, didn’t she? There were things about me she obviously couldn’t live with.”

“There’s things about me most people can’t live with either.”

“I suppose that’s true. John did.”

Sherlock nodded. “Hm, but John’s an unusual case too. You both like the thrill of a bit of danger. You both try and live very ordinary lives. You both try to be moral and good. But sometimes you fall out of the lines. John more than you, I suppose.”

“So, me and John are just the same?”

“No.” Sherlock paused, resting his chin on Greg’s chest and letting out a soft sigh as those strong arms wrapped around him. “Because John holds himself to very high standards, even if he fails to meet them. You don’t. You believe in justice and good things, but you don’t believe you can be all things to all people. You’re realistic. Yet at the same time, you believe you can make the people around you happy. One thing that is true of you, and isn’t true of John or Mycroft or Molly… is that you’ve never tried to change me. You’ve never tried to make me ‘better’.”

“You are different though, to when I met you. In the five years even before John, you changed a lot.”

“The twins changed me, I think,” Sherlock conceded. “I know they changed you most of all. I didn’t stop taking drugs for you, or for me, I did it for them. Just as you gave up gambling for them. Until today.”

“It was a blip.”

“I know. We all have bad days.”

“Today was more than a bad day. I thought you were getting on an aeroplane and then you were going to die.”

“I thought I was too.” Sherlock frowned. “When I left three years ago, after Bart’s and Moriarty, I thought my death was a possibility. Depending on the circumstances, it ranged between five per cent to ninety per cent certainty. I always came through it. But I accepted death that time. This time…”

“This time?” Greg prompted.

“I have nightmares.”

“I know you do. Don’t think I haven’t seen you.”

“You never said.”

Greg shrugged. “I thought you didn’t remember them. Or you were ashamed. Either way, it wasn’t for me to pry.”

“I have some bad memories. They haven’t just gone away but… it’s easier when I’m with you. When I was away, I wasn’t scared of dying. I thought I’d done my best in protecting John, you and Mrs Hudson. But the prospect of leaving you alone again. Leaving the twins. It was intolerable this time. I don’t know why I was so afraid of giving us a chance.” He touched Greg’s cheek. “If Mycroft hadn’t let me come back… I don’t know why I was so scared of giving us a chance.”

“Because if you allow yourself to get close, you think you’re gonna get hurt.” Greg narrowed his eyes. “No, wait. That isn’t it, is it? You think you’re going to hurt me? Hurt them.”

“They’ve already lost one parent.”

“Tessa?” Greg asked. “Come on, Sherlock. They barely remember her.”

“They’re young and resilient, but they still know how abandonment feels.”

“They know they’re loved. And you don’t know how abandonment feels, Sher. You’ve never lost anyone. Your parents adore you, your brother saves you from prison, John shoots a criminal for you. Molly lusted after you for years, but she never hated you no matter what you did. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of. You’re… You’re incredible. I’m really ordinary.”

Sherlock blinked. Well, that wasn’t true, not at all. “No, you’re not. You’ve never been ordinary.”

“I’ll never know what you see in me.”

Sherlock smiled. “Nor will I know what you see in me.”

Greg glanced down at his watch. “Much as this conversation is riveting, I’ve got to make dinner.”

“I’ll join you.”

Greg smiled and kissed him before standing up. He yawned and stretched before reaching a hand out to Sherlock and helping him up from the bed. Greg paused for a second. “Just… I mean. What are… Are we…”

Sherlock smiled and entwined their fingers. “Yes,” he said.

Greg frowned. “Yes what?”

“Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

Greg smiled, bemused. “That wasn’t what I asked.”

“Yes, it is. You asked me to move in with you six years ago.”

“Yeah, but you said no.”

Sherlock shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I never answered.”

Greg raised his eyebrows. “You moved in with John. That seemed answer enough.”

“I needed time to consider it,” Sherlock said.

Greg began to laugh. “Oh good God. Are you serious? You’ve been considering moving in with me for six years?”

“I’m very serious. And my answer’s yes. Assuming the offer still stands.”

“Of course it does.” Greg smiled and let go of Sherlock’s hand. He walked towards the bedroom door, just as there was a knock on the front door.

“I love you,” Sherlock murmured to his back. “I thought that if we’re really doing this, you ought to know that.”

Greg turned his head. With a slight nod, he reached out and took hold of Sherlock’s hand again. “Well. Well, welcome home,” he said with a grin. Smiling, Sherlock followed him down the stairs. 


End file.
